A change in the air

I have found myself feeling different these past few days, I am laughing and dancing and goofing around in a way I normally wouldn’t. Sarah has even mentioned my randomness and many have told me I need to drink less energy potions. But I know its because I finally feel happy again, fully gleefully happy! The dark days are for now behind me and I am actually smiling a lot. This is very much because of my friends, I spent a week in Tartarus with Zachery and Erik and when I came back I felt different. Then I have been spending time with Cody who constantly makes me laugh like an idiot! Then as usual Sarah and Anna have been the greatest, and with all of this together It helped. I am looking at the world in a different way, but it isn’t scary its peaceful. I don’t fall asleep with tears in my eyes, and I wake up optimistic of the day ahead.

I find myself creating magic again also, something I haven’t done in a very long time. I feel the change in the air, and it is clean and fresh! Looking ahead things may be bumpy but it will be full of laughter and friends! I cant ask for anything else!

More to come,

Ruby the not so Wicked Witch

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Feeling like cinderella

I am assuming I am not alone in once and a while feeling like a cinderella. The only difference here is it is my roommate and she is getting worse and worse. She is not even upfront about it, she just passive aggressively refuses to do any chores, even though she is home way more than myself. I can come home to only sleep for a whole week and then have her blame me for every mess in the apartment even though she is home everyday for a large portion of the time, making these messes. I legitimately come home, shower, sleep, get up and go to the university.  The worst part is if I do decide to come home early I am met with rudeness and anger. Midra has turned from a fun loving elf to one poisoned, whose heart is rotting and turning her into a dark elf more and more each day. Though I only have 9 weeks left with her approximately I find myself becoming effected by the poison, causing me to become angry and on edge daily. I am always tense and any time she speaks to me I react in a way I cannot control. I fight the urge to just play her passive aggressive games, or to get the chores done that need to. Some things have gotten very gross, while others have become easy to ignore. My only concern is that I will be stuck trying to juggle ALL of the household chores and my studies and my job, while she sits in front of a magic mirror watching her shows. I understand she has a lot on her plate as well but I believe that if she is the only one actually around to make a large mess she showed understand that she should take more of the cleaning responsibilities not drop all of them.

The most annoying part is she tells me she will do something and then doesn’t for two weeks and when I do it her first  response is “oh, I was going to do that!” I am just tired of her, every time I receive a message from her I cringe, her messages are practically always along the lines of “Cinderella do this” “what did you do to cause this?” “You need to get this done!”

I am not her servant and I am tired of being treated like one! I need to find a way to combat this horrible behaviour, I no longer am content to just ignore her!

More to come,
The not so Wicked Witch

A dark world

This world is not happy, it is full of dark fairies and horrid trolls. There is always something we can fear but not many come to fear themselves. I have…

I fear the words I can use to hurt someone, I fear the damage I could create, I fear what I could do. Fearing yourself can be a great thing, as you are aware that you can do wrong… but I have come to such a state that I don’t even understand. The darkness that was and occasionally still surrounds me has left me with a new understanding. The things I learn about the creatures I encounter can be used as a way to hurt them. I have the thoughts that could lead to actions, and I come closer and closer to becoming a dark creature. I become closer and closer to finding myself stuck within a world of self created chaos!

I may sound like a crazy person saying I could do it if I wanted, I just don’t. Its not like that, It is a situation where I find myself in situations were these horrid things are just a slight reach away. My mind is saying that I should say them, as they are true but my conscious is there only slightly reminding me that those thoughts are not things to be repeated. They are not things you say to your friends, or even enemies. I fear that I will let this darkness that is within me win… I fear that I will lose control. I mostly fear whatever it is that has caused this change within me…

More to come,

The not so wicked witch

Curses

I am going to be incredibly blunt right now and say that I have been hit with a lifetime curse. This isn’t a simple thing that I can ignore or laugh at… It is very serious and quite harmful. I have been going to a elf for help, where she tries to dissipate the curses influence on my life, but it hasn’t been going too well. I see her weekly but I doubt I will actually be able to get myself out of this mess. This is the curse that kept me away for a few months, and it has come around again at full force. Its not even something my greatest friends can help me battle as none actually understand what is going on. No matter how many times you explain this to someone they will never truly understand unless they have studied these curses or actually have been cursed in some way resembling yours.

I suppose I should give it a shot though… I just feel so lost, I feel as if there is this whole in my chest where the essence of myself used to be, but it has been stolen. essentially I feel as if someone has ripped my soul out of my chest leaving me with no way to actually feel. This has left me with a fear of talking to my greatest ally Zachery… and that hurts me the most. How am I suppose to find myself when I cannot even summon enough courage to tell my Best Friend that there is something wrong. I currently sit in a room at the Camelot university where my main goal is to keep myself from crying and shaking as that all I have been able to do for the last hour. Thankfully Anna is here and making sure I am ok. Though even with an ally beside me feel as if I am trapped in the dark ages with no way to escape ….

Ruby the not so wicked witch