What just happened

I am so confused. I have been hanging out with Cody for a whole month talking everyday for the most part and just yesterday I learned he has a girlfriend. So my thoughts are WHAT. I am more upset that talking about his ex placed more of an importance than his actual girlfriend. For some reason I am not angry at him, but just confused and partially insulted. Did he not tell me cause he thought I wouldn’t be friends with him, or because he legit did not think about it. Why is this such a thing, I’m not even mad as someone who liked him but as a friend. How does one not tell their friends about there girlfriend, how does one not think to mention her at all. I am angry for her, that would be so insulting to think that I had so little effect on my boyfriends life that he never thought to mention me. What?

How is that a thing, I suppose he could have just started dating her but I still don’t understand how thats a thing you just don’t mention. He wasn’t even the one who told me, it was his friend. I am so frustrated and also confused, nothing really makes sense with this.

I just have no clue right now,

Ruby the not so Wicked Witch

Concentration issues

I really need to find a way to concentrate, but every time I try I end up getting lost in thought or distracted by a friend within minutes! It not even anything specific, I am not lost in a day dream about a guy, or scrolling on spellbook! I am just stuck in my own head, wishing there was more I could do but knowing I will not truly get to concentrate on what I need to. I shouldn’t be writing a post, I should be studying for one of the numerous exams I have. Especially because I have plans tomorrow and leave for Tartarus on Friday.

I find myself sitting in my schools gigantic library full of knowledge and students studying away, focus to all extents and there I am lost. I know what I need to do, and how to start, but not how to focus my attention on it. I really need to study now as I know I won’t be able to later as Cody is joining me and Sarah later on this evening to study, and for whatever reason I seem to get nothing done around him as we keep talking. If only I had a wizard near by to conjure up a spell to help with my concentration. I was even thinking about going to the potions shop for something, but I doubt I need more energy and have no clue as to what they have that could help me study. Hopefully I can get past this sooner than later!

More to come,

Ruby the not so Wicked Witch

Notice: In need of a mind reader

“mind reader” aka a person who can supposedly discern what another person is thinking. (as a google search has told me)
Does anyone know of such a person, cause I could use some help! I am in a constant state of confusion when it comes to Cody and Cam! Sarah and Anna both seem to think these men like me, but I am at a loss. I normally have a knack for picking up on subtle cues about people but not with these guys. These guys are making me question all I know, and it is driving me insane. I have been content with the idea that I could never find someone who could change my world as fairytales and books describe. I would not find that mysterious person who has me question my world, and flip it around all at the same time! A person who would give me butterflies when he speaks to me, a person who can say the right thing to calm my anxiety without me openly saying I am freaking out.
I was content and then out of no where I find two guys who fit this description. At first I was angry and now I am just in a state of constant confusion. The moment I think my feelings for one have left, I see them and they say the right thing, the thing that makes my heart jump if only a little. I have to admit I know my feelings are not as intense and described they are only minuscule compared to others when they get these feelings, but the fact I have any makes me feel out of balance. I just want to know how to continue, actually need is a better word. I need advice, even a simple “this is normal” so I can find balance in this new world I have come to be placed within.
So for all who stumble upon this blog please give me advice, what should I do?
More to come,
The not so Wicked Witch

When Your thoughts are consumed

I am so confused and frustrated. I don’t know what is happening to me, I cannot seem to concentrate on anything I need to. My thoughts are consumed with feelings, and I am at a loss. I can barely think of the words to describe my situation now; all I know is that I have caught myself behaving differently than I normally do around these two guys. Sarah thinks I am crushing on both of these guys, but I don’t normally do that. I get intrigued by people I don’t understand and then once I do learn about them I get over it, not with these guys. The more I hang out with Cody the more intrigued I get, and the worst but best part is he actually has the ability to surprise me… It is annoying. And then there is Cam, and I barely know anything about him except I find myself excited when I see him and talk to him. There is the running theory that this is because when I see him he is working at the potions shop and I am getting my favourite drink, but I don’t think that is it. If I see him as I am walking by I feel weird. This is abnormal and annoying. I think the only person who is happy about this is Sarah because she finds it funny that I cannot figure these guys out and its causing me to act out of character.

Honestly I am having such a difficult time figuring them out that I couldn’t even write about their character as I don’t know it.  Which is good because of the fact that if I was to like a person I would want them to be someone fascinating and someone that I can be surprised by, but those traits also make me so frustrated. I cannot even describe the frustration I am feeling, some of it comes from the situation with them and some comes from the fact that I have noticed myself behaving in ways that I don’t understand. For example, I have been fumbling on things I shouldn’t (in front of a class even), talking a lot more than normal (which in my case is a very very large amount)! Trust me it is an intense amount of weirdness that I do not understand in any way. I know that anyone reading this will probably be sitting there thinking “its obvious you like someone, don’t make a big deal out of it!” well for me that is a big deal. I don’t have emotions like this, honestly I don’t care enough to have emotions like this. So I feel like I have the right to be this confused and frustrated.

 

Wish me luck,

The not so wicked witch