Back in Tartarus

I know it has been a very long time since I last posted, I just never could finish the post I wanted to write.

Since It has been a long time since I last wrote I feel like I should catch up as a lot has changed! so starting with Cody as I was talking about him a lot before I my hiatus… found out he has a girlfriend. Which granted was confusing at first but then he explained he doesn’t want to make a big deal about his relationship and he wants it to be a just them thing. So, since I hate having people in my business I get it. After that happened started something with this will-o’-the-wisp named Daniel, ended the things with Daniel (very quick termination). Funny enough it had to do with him telling people to much about us when nothing was really happening and I panicked.

As of my living situation, thankfully Midra moved out and Anna moved in! Something Zachary finds funny as Anna and myself had a rough start as roommates in the dorms. And since School ended for the summer, I came back to Tartarus. The idea was to work with my family and save money… in hind sight not a good idea. I see Zachery and Erik about once a week, which is actually really good considering we all work. We are actually planning a day trip to this park outside of tartarus for zachary’s birthday. Well lets be honest I am planning it as Zachery doesn’t know how to coordinate between people.

 

I wil try to write more, but for now you are atlas updated on the antics of your neighbourhood witch.

Until Next time,

Ruby the not so wicked witch

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Notice: In need of a mind reader

“mind reader” aka a person who can supposedly discern what another person is thinking. (as a google search has told me)
Does anyone know of such a person, cause I could use some help! I am in a constant state of confusion when it comes to Cody and Cam! Sarah and Anna both seem to think these men like me, but I am at a loss. I normally have a knack for picking up on subtle cues about people but not with these guys. These guys are making me question all I know, and it is driving me insane. I have been content with the idea that I could never find someone who could change my world as fairytales and books describe. I would not find that mysterious person who has me question my world, and flip it around all at the same time! A person who would give me butterflies when he speaks to me, a person who can say the right thing to calm my anxiety without me openly saying I am freaking out.
I was content and then out of no where I find two guys who fit this description. At first I was angry and now I am just in a state of constant confusion. The moment I think my feelings for one have left, I see them and they say the right thing, the thing that makes my heart jump if only a little. I have to admit I know my feelings are not as intense and described they are only minuscule compared to others when they get these feelings, but the fact I have any makes me feel out of balance. I just want to know how to continue, actually need is a better word. I need advice, even a simple “this is normal” so I can find balance in this new world I have come to be placed within.
So for all who stumble upon this blog please give me advice, what should I do?
More to come,
The not so Wicked Witch

When Your thoughts are consumed

I am so confused and frustrated. I don’t know what is happening to me, I cannot seem to concentrate on anything I need to. My thoughts are consumed with feelings, and I am at a loss. I can barely think of the words to describe my situation now; all I know is that I have caught myself behaving differently than I normally do around these two guys. Sarah thinks I am crushing on both of these guys, but I don’t normally do that. I get intrigued by people I don’t understand and then once I do learn about them I get over it, not with these guys. The more I hang out with Cody the more intrigued I get, and the worst but best part is he actually has the ability to surprise me… It is annoying. And then there is Cam, and I barely know anything about him except I find myself excited when I see him and talk to him. There is the running theory that this is because when I see him he is working at the potions shop and I am getting my favourite drink, but I don’t think that is it. If I see him as I am walking by I feel weird. This is abnormal and annoying. I think the only person who is happy about this is Sarah because she finds it funny that I cannot figure these guys out and its causing me to act out of character.

Honestly I am having such a difficult time figuring them out that I couldn’t even write about their character as I don’t know it.  Which is good because of the fact that if I was to like a person I would want them to be someone fascinating and someone that I can be surprised by, but those traits also make me so frustrated. I cannot even describe the frustration I am feeling, some of it comes from the situation with them and some comes from the fact that I have noticed myself behaving in ways that I don’t understand. For example, I have been fumbling on things I shouldn’t (in front of a class even), talking a lot more than normal (which in my case is a very very large amount)! Trust me it is an intense amount of weirdness that I do not understand in any way. I know that anyone reading this will probably be sitting there thinking “its obvious you like someone, don’t make a big deal out of it!” well for me that is a big deal. I don’t have emotions like this, honestly I don’t care enough to have emotions like this. So I feel like I have the right to be this confused and frustrated.

 

Wish me luck,

The not so wicked witch

Relationship blunder

Missing Months Part 3

What is a fairytale without a few twists and turns, my weirdest turn in these past months was a proposal from Richard. I feel like the use of the word weirdest implies the proposal was unwanted and VERY unexpected. I was actually very angry and quite insulted to be honest. Its not like he was a bad man, he was just pushing a proposal on someone he had barely been seeing.

He offered me a nice life, but a life that meant sacrificing a lot of my aspirations for his, even though he didn’t implicitly say this… I just knew. For me it would never matter what a gentleman could give me if he wanted my intellectual peruses to be shut down. I have come to learn very few sympathize with my anger and pain, because who wouldn’t want a wealthy man to shower them with gifts. Well if this wasn’t obvious to you I wouldn’t! I want love, and an epic weird love story, not a bribed relationship. So I am apparently set to be single for a very long time.

More to come,

The not so Wicked Witch